I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
