Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Found your dick twin last night
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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