can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
You are a genius and a whore.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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