no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What a dumb baby whore.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
