I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize