Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Randomize
