you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
