Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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