its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
