so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
