Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
i know i saw many looks of jealousy when i walked solo into subway carrying a cheesy gordida crunch after taco bell closing hours
I'm sure for most of the people, it was the one and only miracle they will see
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
