How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Whoever said that remembering a girls name is a basic rule for getting laid has never met me.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
