those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Randomize
