she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
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