you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Idk who invented dominoes cheese steak pizza but I wanna lick their balls
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
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