would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
no, he came in my armpit
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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