i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
Randomize
