Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
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Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
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He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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