Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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