Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
