I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
