Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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