That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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