So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
