I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
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