So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
