Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
