Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize