I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
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