all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
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