very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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