he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
