Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
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