I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
