I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize
