Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
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