Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
