i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
