At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
