I think i peed on brittanys purse
guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
soo... how was my night?
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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