Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Randomize
