I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
don't wear any deodorant. we have to do everything we can to sabotage this wedding
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
