I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
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