Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
