I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
You told me to remind you that the bruise on your ass is from when you danced on the table at Ziggy's, saw a cop and tried to 'fly away'.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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