Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
He was 6'5 and wearing a kilt, how could I not fuck him
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