She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
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The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
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I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
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