but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
