so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
