One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize