I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize