And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
