At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
