I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize
