I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
