Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize