She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
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