you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
