Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Randomize
