Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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