Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
Watching her eat just hurts me
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
i cant go to his party cause last time i pressed the red buttons on the wall and the fire alarm went off for 40 minutes, i'm not allowed back there
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
Randomize
