are you still at the devil's house?
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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